We were outside yesterday afternoon, putting some spider webbing on the bushes.

Me: “Oh, that’s why we’ve not gotten any mail today.”

Jen: “Why, is there something wrong with our mailbox?”

Me: “No. It’s because today is a holiday.”

Jen: “Do you mean to tell me that the reason we’ve not gotten mail today is because it’s Halloween?”

Me: “Yes. A holiday.”

Jen: “Are you serious?”

Me: “We’re out here decorating for tonight, aren’t we? There’s no mail in our mailbox, is there?”

…

…

Jen: “Right. I forgot that the founding fathers set forth that the Federal government must remain closed in honor of Pagan rituals and candy sacrifice on October 31 of every year.”

Special thanks to my wife for formatting and writing the first edition of this exchange, and then emailing it to a bunch of people yesterday. I love you, shmoopy.