Vice has been running a hilarious (and sobering) column for years now called London Rental Opportunity of the Week, which I stumbled on a few days ago; the author is hanging up his shingle and wrote a kiss-off to all landlords everywhere.
In order to pay for this nice shiny MacBook, I put my iBook on Craigslist for sale a few weeks ago. Since then, I’ve had a lot of responses ranging from “I’ll come over tonight” to “Can you give me a better offer”. This, after the ad clearly stated that my price was firm and fair. I had the usual “Can you ship it to me overseas” bullshit, the “I’ll pay for it with a postal money order” bullshit, and the “I’ll give you $350 for it,” none of which got a response back from me. I got a bunch of nice folks who claimed they were serious, and then they never showed to look at it. I figured it was the holidays intruding on plans, and I guessed that some people may have come up short on cash towards the end of the month.
I hadn’t gotten anyone serious enough to actually stop by until New Year’s Eve, when a kid with a high-pitched voice set up an appointment to look at it. I asked how he was going to pay, and he cheerfully replied, “cash,” which was fine by me. So he shows up at the right time, looks over the machine, and happily says, “OK, I’ll take it,” and then tries to give me $250 in cash and a checking balance receipt, claiming he couldn’t get the money out of an ATM on the holiday, and can he take it and come back and give me the rest?
Get back in your Dad’s new Honda and get out of my driveway until you come back with the full amount, hippy. Do people really think that shit works? That because one claims to be a student, I’m going to believe that line of crap? I’m sure your dealer doesn’t front you a dime when you’re trying to score dope before the Widespread Panic show, does he? Oh, and no, I’m not installing Microsoft Office on it for you for free, Jerry Garcia.
So, how much do you want for it?