Hey, whatever. The turkey is defrosting, the garland is hung, and the firewood is stacked by the fireplace. Gobble gobble, everybody, and enjoy your vittles this year.

PS. Lost just keeps getting better and better.

Date posted: November 23, 2005 | Filed under humor | Comments Off on Snow!?!

(I started this on Thursday, but like many other posts here, I wasn’t able to finish it very well. I finally tacked on a coda just now.)

Thursday evening, I was wandering the aisles of the Safeway on the hill in Ellicott City looking for coffee filters and something to eat. This particular store is always quiet and sparsely populated, so I always feel relaxed when I’m in there. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s probably going to close soon due to the proximity of the shiny new Superfresh up the street, but the produce is always pretty good, the shelves are full, and there are always carts lined out front—I figure that’s a good sign.

I prefer going to places where there are few people, actually. When I was in college, I spent many nights in the copy center downtown until the early morning hours, and I always enjoyed being in the city at 5am. Traffic was nonexistent; parking spots were plentiful. I’d sit at deserted streetlights and imagine having the city all to myself. It got so that I’d leave for Kinko’s at midnight just so that I could avoid the hassles, and I’d have the place all to myself with the odd Jesus freak or graduate student.

I was in the store to pick up some dinner—I’d just been at a restaurant, but I didn’t want to spend $30 and talk business through a mouthful of food. I was slowly pulling things from the shelves when Sinatra’s version of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” came on the in-store speakers. Something about the melancholy, quiet way the song rolled along fit my mood perfectly. Outside, the temperature had dropped to a chilly 30°. Most of the leaves had fallen down off the trees. Suddenly I realized it’s the middle of November, and that Christmas is around the corner.

I used to really look forward to the holiday seasons. I’d always try to come up with interesting gifts for my family and friends, and (in the years I could afford to) surprise them with something exciting. These days, I’m not filled with the same amount of giddy fun that I was in years past, but it really doesn’t have anything to do with the holidays—it’s more about the aftermath. The idea of three months of gray, cold slush does not excite me.

Last night (Sunday), I built a fire in our fireplace with some of the wood I’d chopped from the elm tree out back. We sipped some wine and relaxed, letting the warmth make us sleepy. The lower half of the house is mostly clean, and I chopped some more wood today before it really started to rain. Hopefully we’ll be able to stock up firewood for the cold months when it’s uninspiring outside.

Date posted: November 21, 2005 | Filed under humor | 1 Comment »

Celebrities Swearing.
NSFW. We saw this in Ireland, I think, and we laughed our heads off.

Date posted: November 20, 2005 | Filed under humor, shortlinks | Comments Off on Celebrities Swearing.

We Now Return You To Seizure Robots.
Rock On.

Date posted: November 20, 2005 | Filed under humor, shortlinks | Comments Off on We Now Return You To Seizure Robots.

We’re going to a firing range this evening to shoot guns in celebration of a friend’s birthday. This should be interesting. Should I rent the Thompson submachine gun, or just stick with a pistol?

Update: We decided to go with a .38 pistol, figuring it would be enough to get familiarized with. That activity would make for an interesting date…

Date posted: November 19, 2005 | Filed under humor | Comments Off on Weapons.

Um, I Live There.
This is messed up.

Date posted: November 18, 2005 | Filed under humor, shortlinks | Comments Off on Um, I Live There.

IMG_2045

Date posted: November 17, 2005 | Filed under travel | Comments Off on Ruins

Preparation For The Future.
WOW. Right on, Mom. That is the funniest (and saddest) thing I’ve seen in a while.

Date posted: November 17, 2005 | Filed under humor, shortlinks | Comments Off on Preparation For The Future.

  • Take a shower this morning.
  • Rake the leaves out in the front yard, which threaten to swallow our cars.
  • Renew my overdue library book and pay the fine. The library’s robot called me this morning to complain.
  • Finish the baseboards in the dining room. But they’re close.
  • Take my vitamins to fend off the flu.
  • Pull the huge splinter out of the side of my hand from last night.
  • Call the lawyer this morning to talk about my possible business venture.
  • Go to Sam’s Club to buy a turkey.
  • Copy the receipts from Sears to claim the rebate on our appliances.
  • Clean out litterboxes.

You’d think I was sitting around this place eating chocolate and letting the mail pile up at the door, but I’m not. I’ve been going nonstop since I was laid off. We’re getting our plans laid out for Thanksgiving, and I’m overseeing the final touches on the kitchen. The counter guys were out today to fix the sink, which hadn’t been hung correctly. It was detached from the granite in the center by about a half-inch, and the silicone bead had torn loose. Apparently the install guy never braced the front and back, just the sides. So when the disposall got hung from the drain, it pulled the sink down. Thanks for that, buddy.

Date posted: November 16, 2005 | Filed under humor | 2 Comments »

Gorillaz Live.
Sort of. I have no idea how they did this, but it’s pretty damn cool.

Date posted: November 16, 2005 | Filed under music, shortlinks | Comments Off on Gorillaz Live.