The back porch of our house has been smelling like grape Bubblicious for the last week, something that takes me back to grade school and Krauzer’s (New Jersey representing!) and chewing three pieces at one time to keep the flavor going. We inherited a grape vine next to the stairs with the purchase of the house, and one of the many dreams we’ve shared is to be able to do something cool with the grapes. However, in years past we’ve been robbed of our fruit by bad weather, critter infestation, and bad luck.
This is the first year we’ve enjoyed a bumper crop of grapes, due in part to the dry weather and also to the netting I purchased early in the season to keep the birds from eating the entire vine clean. Jen did a whole lot of reading online and found several ideas for what we could do with the bounty, settling on an Epicurious recipe for jam that sounded good.
After helping her pick five pounds of grapes off the arbor yesterday, she got to work peeling, cooking, milling and canning, and the result is five jars of grape goodness waiting for a taste test. (We need another 12 hours or so.)
Fill a half-gallon jar with grapes. Add a cup of sugar and fill the jar to the brim with the cheapest vodka you can find. Shake it up and stick it on shelf for 2 months. Take it down, shake it up again, and let it sit another 2 months. Pour the 4-month old liquid through a cheesecloth and enjoy.
Best. Hooch. EVER.
Seriously.
Hmmm. That sounds like a plan, considering that we’ve got another 5lbs. of grapes on the vine to go. Jen?
If you’re overly concerned by either recipe (jam or hooch), have no fear. I just got my union card from The International Brotherhood of Taste Testers (You may have read our union periodical, “Testy Culls”) and I can be on the job within minutes.
Hoooooch. Does that mean when I get sloppy on it I can call myself “Hoochie”?
Dave, you crack me up. You’ll be the first non-Lockardugan person upon whom I call to inflict, I mean, to test our jam. That is, of course, provided that the botulism doesn’t flatten me first.
The Verdict: Freakin’ awesome.
Jen sez, “now I have a marketable skill for when the international monetary system breaks down and we return to a feudal society.”
Trade ya some raspberry for some grape. Does raspberry make good hooooooch too?
“Testy culls.” Dave, you crack me up too.