My wife told me she heard an interview where you were talking about the horrors of prescription drugs. I happened to hear some of this interview yesterday, and I have to say, I’m a little confused. You were talking to
Pat O’Brien some asshat about how drugs prescribed for Attention Defecit Disorder are poisonous and harmful. Perhaps I should just remind you that Pat O’Brien is a recovering addict. He had a semi-famous meltdown just a few months ago. Perhaps I should also remind you that you’re a movie star, not a board-certified doctor. You get paid to look pretty, not advise people on their medication. Obviously, irony is lost on you.
I think you should be careful telling people to stop taking their Strattera, given the fact that a good chunk of Middle America obviously waits to hear and believes every word out of your mouth. I, for one, couldn’t care less if you actually love that 24-year-old chick or not. (Frankly, I smell publicity stunt.) But the fact is that some people actually listen to you, because you’re a Famous Person.
Where you really scared me, though, was when you started talking about women with postpartum depression, and said that all they need are some vitamins and better nutrition. Excuse me, sir, but you’re a guy. You and your ex-wife adopted your kids, if I’m not mistaken. What do you know about postpartum depression, or pregnancy in general? Did you go through eight years of medical school? Are you an obstetrician? I mean, I didn’t really know about postpartum depression until a couple of years ago, but I learned about it pretty quickly. My wife and I watched a show last night where they said pregnant women release three times the hormones during pregnancy than a non-pregnant woman releases in her entire lifetime. Tom, a Centrum One-A-Day is not going to battle that many hormones, no matter what the Scientologists tell you to say. When the impressionable Enquirer subscribers start skipping their depression meds and harming their kids, I hope somebody points the Finger back at you.
So, Tom, I’d like to prescribe to you a big cup of Shut The Fuck Up, to be taken daily with your vitamins. Once they stick an M.D. behind your name, I’ll begin to take what you say a little more seriously.