Jen was geeking out yesterday by sending me text messages on the Batphone: “DAMN BUNNies[sic].”

I spent the better part of Saturday digging out the shade bed (that bed which lies along the driveway and is hidden by three very emaciated bushes) and laying in a frame of 2×12″s to contain fresh dirt. Phase One was actually lugging the material home. Phase Two involved digging the existing plants out of hard-packed clay. (Think of the chain gang scenes in Cool Hand Luke.) Phase Three was constructing and installing the frame. That was definitely enough for one day, and a hearty round of applause must go out to our neighbors M. and S. for upping our suggestion of walking to get ice cream to a full-blown barbecue with beer at their place.

Sunday, Jen ignored all warnings from her Russian physical therapist and planted a paycheck’s worth of pretty shade plants into the rich soil we added and watered the whole thing while I toiled at the computer all afternoon long. It looked great Monday morning, when her back felt like the whole Russian army had marched across her shoulderblades.

Apparently, though, this fluffy patron and her child think we have opened up a salad bar for their convenience. Now, I like bunnies. They’re cute, and they eat lettuce and hang out in the glass cage at the pet store and poop little round pellets, like styrofoam peanuts. But when they start chowing down on my woman’s plants like it’s bluehair hour at the smorgasboard, I have some homicidal (bunnycidal) thoughts. We’re going to have to look into some anti-bunny measures (punji pits? guard dogs? mines?) so as to keep our garden green.

Date posted: May 16, 2005 | Filed under garden | 4 Comments »

4 Responses to Kill The Wabbit.

  1. ren says:

    A couple thoughts, one socially acceptable and onee maybe not so much (especially because you’ve now lighted that side of the house)…first, and free: pee on the plants (turn the light off first). Also try Critter Ridder, which is by Hav-a-Heart, which is black and red pepper granular stuff that they don’t like walking on–it’s working wonders in my garden.

  2. Linda says:

    I’m assuming your kitties are exclusively indoor, then? Ain’t no way a rabbit will go where he/she can smell a cat. If the Bill pee doesn’t work, try some litterbox offerings.

  3. the idiot says:

    I think we’ll have to spread some stanky kitty litter around the area, as my neighbors aren’t gonna cotton to me taking a whiz in our yard at 12:30am.

    “Hello, 9-1-1? There’s a perverted sex fiend exposing himself in my neighbor’s yard right now…”

    Thanks for the advice, though!

  4. ren says:

    Oh hell, just warn the Judge. He’ll probably stand guard for you. The kitty litter is probably a better idea, though, and lord knows you have enough of it. I am SO jealous of the greenhouse (though I have finally procured and installed my very own rain barrel).