Today, even though the sky is gray and cloudy, spitting cold rain, I’m oddly optimistic, and feeling good. yesterday I had a hard time focusing on things, and I feel it was in no small part due to a sense of disconnectedness (if that is such a word) at work and in my personal life.

I got on the phone with my buddy Matt last night and talked with him for about an hour to catch up, and it was great. I miss him, and his girlfriend Sophie, two of my best friends from college. I’ve felt, for the last few months, like people have been pulling away, and this is in no small part due to my poor skills at keeping people in my life. I’m noticing the message light on my machine does not blink anymore, not with the frequency it used to. That upsets me, and adds to my sense of loneliness a guilt that’s hard to shake.

From the New Yorker last week: the definition of Coulrophobia: morbid, irrational fear of or aversion to clowns.