Everyone is afraid of the government shutdown. Or, at least, we’re being told we need to be afraid of the government shutdown. The coverage I’m hearing (and it is varies from outlet to outlet) mostly agrees that the battle is over ideological bullshit–the GOP wants to defund Planned Parenthood, the EPA, and financial regulation, and won’t budge on these points.

I have nothing but respect for you, sir, and the difficult job you have taken on. That been said, I have one word of advice:

Take the skirt off.

Your predecessor, a talentless, entitled rube, surrounded himself with a kennel of feral attack weasels and let them shank their enemies while he feigned an “aw, shucks” persona and hid out on his ranch. You’ve taken a higher road in the first half of your term, and while I appreciate the brief return to civility, I’m afraid it’s time for a change. You need to feed your staff some raw meat, issue them some bayonets, and start fighting back.

The high road is not going to work anymore. The GOP doesn’t give a shit about compromise. Neither does the Tea Party, who might as well be running the GOP; they want their agenda followed and they don’t care how they do it or who it hurts. My impression of your presidency so far is one of lofty ideals and a genuine desire to make things better through debate and compromise-a dream that recalls the middle of the last century, when politicians fought each other ideologically, but had the good sense to get together for cocktails and barbecue after work. Your opposing team doesn’t want to pour you a beer; they want to drop you down a mineshaft. They’re still playing like it’s 2004.

You’ve brought a notebook and a pen to a helicopter gunship fight. Cut the shit, put on your body armor, and start knocking some fucking heads together.

Respectfully,
The Idiot.

PS. Don’t budge on Planned Parenthood, the EPA, or especially financial regulation. You disappointed me on that last one, but anything is better than nothing.