It’s becoming clear to me now that I can’t drink coffee after, say, noon anymore. Yesterday I ate a sandwich accompanied by some healthy carrots and hummus for lunch, and immediately fell into a three-hour carb coma. Afraid of passing out, I bought an overpriced cup of coffee and sipped on it until 4:30; this had me staring at the ceiling until 2AM this morning. This makes the 22-year-old in me sad.