We got a lot of stuff done this weekend; among other things, the front porch is half-cleaned off (the waiting room side) and the boxes are arranged neatly on a new wire shelf on the high side of the basement. There are actual pieces of furniture in the bedrooms, even if we’re not using some of them; countless boxes full of foo-foo design books have been emptied and discarded, the living room has opened up with the deletion of my bed, and there are things hanging on the walls. This is progress, people.

Sunday we met with the musicians to find that we really didn’t want to use them (apparently the Wedding March doesn’t work so well on guitar, and we really didn’t want a singer), so Jen engaged the services of an organist. We are now finally registered at Target, for those folks who would like to buy us a gift (cash donations accepted as well) and I think you’ll find we tried not to break your bank—Dyson vacuum cleaner aside. (Hey, we can dream, right?) Instead of the usual plates-and-silverware list most people have, we went practical: that hose reel may not fit on the gift table, but it’ll come in handy when we have to wash out the tent the day after the party. There’s also a gag in there for the folks who appreciate such things.

We also managed to get the lawn mowed (a brief aside, if you will: I will admit to you in print, here and now, that I enjoy mowing my lawn. While my father attempts to perform CPR on himself with two bare wires from the lamp next to his computer desk, I’ll also admit that I was the worst child ever to deal with when it came to mowing lawns. Perhaps it was that our lawn mower was older and heavier than I was; perhaps it was the fact that we had five acres of lawn to mow, and that it was littered with ankle-breaking chunks of bedrock; perhaps it was just more important to me to watch that episode of Battle Of The Planets than spend six hours in the blazing heat of August pushing a government-surplus boat anchor through the weeds. In contrast, the lawn at the Lockardugan estate is a 45 minute exercise in immediate satisfaction.) and added two bags of soil to the side flowerbed. About 8pm, we called it a day, grilled some dogs, opened a cheap bottle of red wine, and fell asleep on the couch.

Freelance. From today’s Craigslist:

Freelance work a few hours a week.
Consultant position using your own equipment, setting your own schedule.

Yeah, right, that sounds like my kinda gig.

You should have and or be:
Honest and reliable
Proficient in Photoshop and 3DSmax
Moderate webdesign skills
Moderate understanding of MS office

Check, check, check, check.

Have a PC with DSL or cable connection and software
Be easy to reach by phone and or email
Have a flexible schedule
Be within 25 miles to Baltimore MD
optional: reliable transportation and ability to meet on location on rare occasions. The work can be done remotely but the ability to meet is beneficial.

OK, this is sounding more like me all the time.

We cannot respond to all inquiries/submissions, if the position has not been filled and you seem well suited for the position you will hear from us within 5 business days.

…Then I’m thinking you really shouldn’t post to Craigslist.

Compensation: $8.50/hour

??!?!?? I made more than that 15 years ago bussing tables in High School. Get bent, you jackoff.