I got a call out of the blue last night from my old buddy Pat, who has finally joined the rest of us here in the 21st century online. When he saw the word “wedding” on my website he tracked me down to find out if it was true. Of course, I had to ask him to come, even though our guest list is bigger than Oprah at a buffet table. After I got off the phone Jen and I agreed that the cutoff has arrived, meaning that even if the Almighty shows up at the front door with a gift-wrapped blender, we’re going to have to turn him away.

Poor Jen has lost about a month’s worth of sleep worrying over the budget for this party; despite using all her best ju-jitsu on the assorted line items, the total figure gets larger and larger—even after cutting half the ‘normal’ wedding stuff, foregoing a rented location, and sneaking our invitations on press for free. We looked at last week’s numbers after talking with Pat and took a cold bucket of reality to the face.

It also looks like Italy is out as a honeymoon destination. Instead, I made some calls last night to price out a ten-day stay in Tahiti, which is surprisingly affordable. Postscript: A ten-day stay in Venice is cheaper than an eight-day stay in Tahiti. We have more deciding to do.

Speaking of affordable, getting paid would really be good right now.